Neighbor Kid: “Um.. How do you say Nata’s name in your language?”
Me: Umm… what do mean?
What does he mean? English? Portuguese? Proto-Indo-European? Fart language? I might be able to deliver if it’s Fart Language.
NK: Italian or whatever.
Me: Well, his name is ALREADY in Portuguese.
NK looks at me blankly. NK: But what’s his NAME in PORTUGUESE???
NK: NO IN PORTUGUESE!!
NK: NO I mean, how do you say it in your language?
NK: NO YOUR LANGUAGE!!
ME: You mean, like, ENGLISH???
Because English, really, let’s be frank, is MY language. I may be a practically monolingual whore, but….. I’m honest!
NK: NOOOOOOOO! In YOUR language!!!
ME: Well, it does mean “Cream” in English.
NK screams “CREAMMMMMMM!”
The damn cat doesn’t even look up.